The Book Keeper Presents: The Perfect Meat
by Creature 326
Summary: Three of the young koopalings discover a mysterious crypt in their castle, which contains the much alive and rotting corspe of the Book Keeper! Tonight's tale is about an exotic meat that only the pure of heart can eat, but it lands in the wrong claws!
1. Chapter 1

**Note- This story contains an OC. She isn't the main character. (You'll see him next chapter) :3**

**Katrina- 2****nd**** wife of Bowser and mother to three of the koopalings (I'm not telling who). She is a brown female koopa with a stocky appearance and has black afro hair. Oddly enough she has bull-like horns like a "tiger monster"- Monster Rancher.**

"Welcome to my crypt, curious ones!"

"I am the bookkeeper, I alone in my library(and my pet owl hooty) keep the tales of koopa history: Past, Present, and Future!"

The three curious brothers shook in terror at the sight of this dry bone. This dry bone unlike the other still had bits of flesh stuck to his bones, but unlike the other dry bones he wore a robe to hide his "condition".

"Don't just stand there take a seat, because you'll be down here for awhile, perhap as long as me." Laughed the old pile of bones.

The ancient dry bone rattled with laughter as dust from his bones spread across the room. The brothers: Morton, Roy, and B.J cough and hack from the ancient dry bone's dust. All three shook in fear of what this strange dry bone was going to do them.

"Thanks a lot for bringin' us dow 'ere, Morton. I was looking to die tonight."

"No problem, Roy!" smiled Morton.

"I'm too young to die!" cried B.J.

"I was not always not like this, I was once a young eager koopa troopa, who loved to please his young master with stories. My young master only liked happy stories with bunnies, clowns, and princesses but I prefered stories that were a lot more DARKER."

" Are you goin' to tell us a story or not, since you ain't going to kill us?" yawned Roy.

"LET'S HEAR A STORY WITH UNICORNS,A WORM IN A SUIT,BIGFOOT,AND A PRINCESS THAT KNOWS KUNG FU! I ALSO WANT TO HEAR A STORY ABOUT HOW….. BRR BLAH BERR…"

B.J covered his older mouth with his little hands. Even thought the youngest, he came in handle at times.

"I could tell you any story that you please, young masters : past,present, and future. The books on my shelf record the history of this very planet. However most of my stories only contain SOME parts that came or will come true in the future. I am not a fortune teller.

"Any story?"

"Any story about anything past,present, and future."

"Alright, how 'bout somethin' a little bloody?" said Roy.

The pages from the bookkeeper book begin to turn mysterious by itself….

" Aww!A koopaling after my own dark heart!" grinned the bones.

The dry bones picked up the dusty book and walked over to his favorite chair where his undead stuffed owl sat with glowing yellow eyes. The eyes of bookeeper turned red as he begun to tell the story.

The Perfect Meat

"How would you like your steak tonight, sugar, medium raw or charred to a crisp?"

A large hammer came slamming down on the bloody lifeless pound of meat. Cooking was the one of the few ways she could redirect her stress and shut Bowser up!

It was close to dinner time and Katrina always made sure Bowser's dinner was always cooked first before everyone else.

The large koopa king, sat in a large chair near by as he watched his 2nd wife pound the slab with a stronger pound each pound.

" You know Katrina I'm actually in a taste for something different. Meat I have not ever tasted before in my life." He licked his chops.

"Why did you wait until after I got the beef out? There is always my leftover rabbit stew if you don't want what I am cooking for ya right now."

"Bleech! That awful stuff? I'll rather eat a salad instead."

Bowser stuck out his tongue to express his digust to eatting as something as small and adorable as an average bunny-rabbit. It doesn't even have enough meat!

"I want meat that's fits for a Koopa King, no more beef, chicken, or pork!" Bowser stomped.

"Ya aren't getting nothing from me with that attitude!" hissed Katrina.

"IF I DON'T GET THAT MEAT, I'LL SEND YOU AND YOUR FAT BUTT TO THE DUNGEON!"

Katrina balled up her fists and squeezed them as hard as she could, her sister Clawdia was better at handling him when he got into one of his bratty moods but unfortuenly Clawdia was not the cooking type. So with both squeezed fists she grabbed her coat and weapons and slamed the kitchen back door with such force that shook the kitchen( that broke some random dishes and cups).

" CLEAN THIS UP WHEN YOU GET BACK! " shouted Bowser.

….

" Is anyone goin' to die soon…." groaned Roy.

"QUIET! Give the story time to develop….now where was I?" yelled the Book Keeper, whom hated to be interuppted.

…..

Katrina scoped the darkland forrest in search for the perfect meat, she had nothing in her hand but a rifle and a net.

…

"I didn't know momma was a redneck…." Said Morton.

"There is a lot you don't know about your _**momma**_" spoke the annoyed dry bones.

…

Katrina didn't really have much luck finding this "perfect meat" for her charming husband. Sure she was able to catch five rabbits, four quails, and a turkey but all that was meat he had before.

" Looks like I'm going to have to spend a week in the dungeon until Bowser gets hungry, but atleast I have my peace from that donkey of a koopa!" she said as she sat on a rotting log in the middle of the darkland forest.

The forest itself was not like any regular forest, it was constantly covered in complete fog and was as damp as a swamp. Animals appeared every now and then but mostly the laughter of crows could be here. If you hear the crows you are in Darkland Forest.

"Apples for sale! Apples for sale!" shouted a mysterious fiqure walking in the distance.

The voice of the fiqure was hard to distigunish at first due to the distace, but with each walk step, the voice sounded more "female".

"I have green apples, magic beans, red slippers, and other magic items!"

Katrina sat up from her seat of the log and was quite puzzled.

"What is a 'ittle gal like you doing in such dangerous woods?"

The mysterious girl (whom was in a red cloak) stopped and spoke to the tired koopa. Katrina couldn't get a good look in her face but she had the voice of an angel.

"Helping poor souls with their problems. In fact I have something special just for KING BOWSER." The girl smiled.

"Is that so? What is it poison or maybe a bear trap, because I could use both!" snorked Katrina. (How did she know I was looking for a special meat… she thought).

" Nope, I have the meat of the golden goose. There is no other meat just like it and only a number of golden geese are alive today. Only those of a pure heart can eat this meat."

The red cloaked girl pulled a large package wrapped in golden wrapping, and it a label it had the words "_GOLDEN GOOSE: EAT WITH CAUTION_". The girl handed the package to Katrina with no trouble with the weight, however the koopa nearly dropped the meat as it was placed into her claws( and she was known to be quite strong in her bounty hunter days!).

" I hope King Bowser enjoys his meat, and remember only…"

"Yeah, only the pure of heart/soul/spirit/hair can eat this meat, I got it princess."

Katrina held tight to the meat and walked in the direction towards the castle. She was relived that she found a meat so rare and tasty for the king, that she could have her peace of mind. The only one left in the clearing was the little girl who was not what she seemed.

" I hope that bastard chokes on his cursed meat!" she crackled.

In a flash of a smoke the innocent girl turned into a female magikoopa. A grunted female magikoopa. The koopa had dark brown hair and would be quite lovely if she didn't smear so much makeup on her face.

"Serve hims right for dumping me when we teenagers! Its not my fault I wasn't as buxom as the other koopa girls at that time. That JERK will pay!"

End of Chapter 1


	2. Chapter 2

**Sorry if Chapter two is too long, but the action really catches up!**

As soon as she got to the castle, Katrina begin cooking right away ( but she swept up the broken glass first) the meat itself was very easy to cook all she had to do was place it in the oven for an hour.

"Why do I do all this myself? I can get the servants to cook dinner…" she moaned.

….

" We don't let the servants cook because we had somebody put posion in King dad's soup once." Interrupted Morton.

"It wasn't posion dummy, it was vegetables!" said Roy as he smacked his brother head.

…

Just as she was taking the mouth- watering goose out of the oven, a young koopaling with blue hair appeared with a carrot.

" Carrots would be a healthy addition to our dinner tonight,momma." said Larry.

"Is that so? I don't really bother with 'em since only Clawdia and you are the only ones who seem to enjoy eatting them."

"Well growing vegetables is one of my specialites so I enjoy eatting them a lot."

"What about collecting money?"

"Shhh! I only do that so I won't get made fun of for being a vegeterian!" whispered Larry.

"Well since you aren't doing anything special, would you please tell every one that dinner is ready while I get the servants to bring out the food."

"Yes, ma'am!"

Larry ran out of the castle kitchen, down the hallway, passed the royal restrooms, Clawdia's(and Iggy's) laboratory, to a huge door that lead to Bowser's personal office. The door was made of some tough wood from an unknown tree and painted red to signalify its importance.

The sign on the door read in bold black letters**: Bowser's Awesome Office: Brats and Wives keep out!**

"No sign is going to keep me away" snickered Larry.

He took a mysterious key with a skull on it from behind his spiky shell and put it in the door's keyhole. Slowly turing the key, the young koopaling was granted access to his father's very private office. He pushed the door slowly just in case his father was present in the moment.

"King dad? Are you in here?"

There was not a soul in the large and vast room. Nothing but tacky spiked furniture and various paintings of Lord Bowser ( and some naughty magazines). Larry looked around and took one of the magazines for himself.

"Now where is that intercom? Aw here it is!"

The young koopaling sat in his father's very large (but cozy) chair and grabbed the silver microphone that connected to the castle's intercom system.

"Attention royal koopa family, dinner is now served! We'll be having steak with mash potatoes in a nice fine gravy and a side of carrots. Our dearest ruler would be have something extra special since he is rather SPECIAL." laughed Larry.

Bowser himself was in Clawdia's( and Iggy's) laboratory helping himself to some of his first wife affectionates and twisted son's inventions.

"Must you kiss mother while I am in the same room?" said a very nauseated Iggy.

"Nonsense child, if it wasn't for your mother's kisses you wouldn't be here! HA HAA!"

"I thought kids came from se…"

"Now, Iggy dear, your father only means that in the fiqurative sense. He just loves me very much."

"That I do my smart little love muffin!" Bowser sweetly said. Clawdia and Wendy was the only ones he spoke to in such a loving manner. Katrina was a different story. The two hardly ever got along.

"Looks like its time for dinner! I'm going to go get a good seat to the good stuff!" said Iggy looking for an excuse to LEAVE.

"Dinner! Its about time that tubby finished cooking the special meat that I wanted!" He exclamied.

Being one with a one track mind, the Koopa King dropped his queen as he ran out of the laboratory, leaving Clawdia a bit upset and alone in the laboratory. She got back off her feet and continued working on her most current invention. She wasn't one whom liked to eat while there were unfinished inventions that cried to be completed.

" Hmmph, just like a guy to think with his stomach!" she pouted.

The body of the golden goose laid in front of Bowser's view like a young maiden on her wedding night. The meat was a crisp golden brown that seemed to sparkle and sweat tastiness.

"My meat, my precious meat, I have longed for you for so long!"

The koopa king took a large fork full of forceful put a piece of the golden goose in his mouth. The whole family watched waiting to see how the king would respond to such a rare meat. One chew. Two chew. Three chew. Swallow. A smile.

" Now that's what a call meat for a king!" cheered Bowser as he happily started to eat big chucks of the goose. Lets just say it's a good thing that turkey was dead or it would have been in large amounts of PAIN.

"How come only dad gets to eat the goose by himself?" whinned Morton. Morton loved to eat.

"Simple, he's the king, and sadly the king gets have whatever he wants." moaned Katrina as bits and pieces of goose went many directions. Katrina her took a bite of piece that landed on her plate and could see why he was eatting it like some wild boar.

"Daddy, can I have some of your goose, Please?" Wendy sweetly asked.

Bowser being the big softy for his daughter caught off a small piece for his daughter, not due to be selfish but only because there was not any left! Wendy enjoy her piece with much pleasure and made sure to show it on her face to make her brothers greenER with envy.

"Delicious, too bad you guys couldn't have any." smirked Wendy.

"Too bad I'm not allow to beat up on GIRLS!" eyed Roy.

Before the two were given a chance to agrue, Bowser quietly rose up from his chair at the table. He didn't say not one as he hugged and kissed his 2nd wife. The koopa king was on cloud nine and even his eyes seemed friendlier as they shined a bright golden color.

He left the dinning room and walked towards his personal awesome office to be greeted by a koopa troopa soldier at the door.

" I did not want to interrupt sire, while you were eatting."

Bowser was still in quite a good mood thus ignoring what the koopa troopa was saying at first, it was like he experincing a form of drunkness.

"Soldier, you look very tasty tonight." Bowser said happily.

" Well, thanks sire, I guess, but I have an important message for you from the fields."

"Let go into my office and discuss."

Just giving a gentle shove, Bowser and his officer entered the tacky office littered with the same tacky furniture and paintings. Strangley enough Larry was still in the office taking a nap with one of his father's personal magazines over his face, but lucky for him he hid behind the desk just before his father spotted him.

The koopa troopa took a sat on the spike covered sofa, while Bowser played around with globe of Plit (the name of the planet they are on). The koopa troopa was extremely nervous because of the Koopa King's firece temper.

" The raid on Princess Peach's castle was unsucessful sir, we were unable to break Peach's force with our soldiers."

Bowser's happy mood came to a screeching halt.

"Lord Bowser? I hope you aren't too disappoint about this." trembled the koopa troppa.

"Will you please repeat that so I can hear you." Bowser said as faced the fireplace. The fire in the place was growing in size as the same as his temper.

"We…uh weren't able to kidnap the princess, your lordship."

"Really? Well isn't that too bad…"

Bowser walked over to his personal desk (where Larry was still hiding) and turned the intercom system.

"Kitty I'm going to need your ASSISTANCE in my office." He calmly said into the intercom.

The koopa troopa was now trembling more than ever, what is this assistance that Lord Bowser asked for?

"What is your name soldier?"

"My name is Charles sire."

"Well, Charles what is the one thing that I hate more than the Mario brothers?" growled Bowser.

"The toad people?"

"FAILURE! I HATE TO FAIL!"

"When I get news of my troops failing simple missions, like say, kidnapping a weak little princess, I get very pissed off and you do not want to PISS ME OFF!" screamed Bowser.

Bowser picked the poor koopa troopa by the scuff of neck and shook fear into his very soul. He was offically in fury mode. Now being consumed with anger, Bowser threw the koopa troopa back onto the spiked couch. His eyess (Bowser's) glowed a bright golden tint and bits of foam came from his mouth.

" I'm very sorry, Master Bowser, please give me and my troops another chance!"

" Another chance? Ha! Who do you think I am, God?"

"Please sire! We will stock with more troops and have a better plan."

Charles was now on his knee as if begging for his own life. Tears filled his eyes because if Bowser didn't forgive him he would be sentence to the dungeons for who knows how long.

" Well, since I am in a good king and since you look very delicious right now I will…"

*SLASH!*

" give you the honor of being my next meal." Slurped Bowser.

The head of the former koopa troopa rolled across the room while a pool of blood followed its path. Splashes of blood hit the koopa king as well, but this didn't bother him as well. In fact he liked the taste of blood as he licked his hand.

"What took you so long? I thought he was never going to stop pleading for his life! Atleast I have a nice midnight snack now!"

Katrina appeared from out the shadows of the room like an owl. Her eyes were the same strange shade of gold as well and she also was having the strange craving for turtle flesh as well.

" Greedy as all was, if I have not showed up, you would hog all this meat for yourself."

She put down the sickle and started to lick blood off her hands as well. She was very disappointed to see splashs of her "snack" on her person. Blood stains are really hard to get out of clothes especially aprons.

" Red brings out the color of your yellow eyes." flirted Bowser as he eyed his 2nd wife whom was now covered in blood for the moment.

" You aren't bad looking yourself either." responded Kitty.

The two koopas left the office in its bloody state (Katrina put the body in a bag later for the two to eat later) to discover this new interest in each other. The could always get some random servants to clean up the mess anyway with no questions.

Meanwhile, Larry was now able to leave his hiding spot behind his father's desk. No amount of words could be be said about the events that took place before him.

" I always thought my family was messed up, but NOT THIS MESSED UP!"

The terrified Larry went to his room and locked the door in order to make sense of what happened tonight minutes ago.

…..

"That is end of our story for right now. Was the story bloody enough for ya?"

" I think I am going to throw up." Said Roy as he searched the area for a basket.

" Big brother is going to toss his cookies!" giggled Bowser Jr.

Come back soon now, Chapter 3 will be up soon!

….


End file.
